As a bisexual woman, I undergo discrimination resulting from both my gender and my sexuality on a daily basis; yet, when I consider the unique matrix of oppression that I am subject to, one experience in particular comes to mind that most clearly exemplifies the nature of this discrimination. On my 20th birthday, I went to the bar to celebrate with my friends as well as the woman I had recently started seeing. For the first few hours we were there, things had been going great and I was having fun; unfortunately, our experience changed when the woman I was there with and I shared a birthday kiss at the bar. As a result, we experienced three distinct incidents of discrimination and microaggressions. The most obviously hateful response came from two older men sitting at a table across the bar, who noticed us kissing and began yelling hateful comments like “that’s disgusting” and “don’t do that sh*t in here” (although there were several heterosexual couples kissing in the bar as well, yet these men didn’t seem to have a problem with that). The subsequent two incidents represent a more insidious (albeit in my experience, much more common) type of discrimination that queer and bisexual women are often subject to: hyper-sexualization. My friends later brought to my attention that as I was kissing my partner, a group of men about our age were whistling and cheering as well as videorecording us. Not only is this a massive invasion of privacy, but it is also a sexually-charged microaggression. Finally, after our kiss, a man approached my partner and I and began hitting on us; this man had shown no interest in speaking to us until we had kissed. We respectfully told him several times that we were here together, yet he continued harassing us, and his actions and comments progressively became more inappropriate and overtly sexual, for example, he proceeded to kiss my hand, make sexual innuendos insinuating the proposition of a threesome, and make remarks dismissing the legitimacy of our same-sex relationship. Our rejection of his advances seemed irrelevant to him, and it took my male friend intervening for this man to finally leave us alone.
This experience illustrates two concepts from the literature, namely intersectionality and microaggressions (specifically hyper-sexualization). Intersectionality, as coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw and discussed by MacDonald and Dobrowolsky in Turbulent Times, Transformational Possibilities, refers to the unique compounding of oppression experienced by individuals based on the intersection of marginalized identities (Macdonald and Dobrowolsky, 2020).
I experience discrimination as both a woman and a queer person, but these are not isolated characteristics, rather they are both central aspects of my identity and individuality which are complexly interconnected; thus, the harms I am subject to as a result are uniquely intertwined as well. For example, the aforementioned incidents experienced on my 20th birthday were not a result of my gender or sexuality alone, but a combination of them, as both the sexual objectification of women and the hyper-sexualization of bisexuality contribute to the overall stigmatization of my identity and illustrate the pervasive overlaps between sexism and biphobia.
The second concept that I have drawn connections to through my lived experience, this being microaggression, refers to subtle discrimination commonly experienced by marginalized groups. More specifically, as a bisexual woman, hyper-sexualization is the microaggression that I experience most frequently, as illustrated by my personal narrative. The described incidents are not isolated, as myself and the woman I am dating have had similar experiences nearly every time we disclose our relationship or go out together in public. While to some these microaggressions may seem harmless, they are deeply hurtful and frightening to experience, and when repeated over time the harm is compounded. In addition, the assumptions that underpin these microaggressions contribute to more tangible types of harm; for instance, the hyper-sexualization of queer women (and bisexual women specifically) contributes to the disproportionately high rates of victimization of rape and sexual assault
My queerness and femininity ultimately shape my life experience under heteropatriarchy, as not only is myself and my body sexualized, but my very identity and existence is as well. Thus, for me, this photo represents one of the many important moments of my life which I was unable to fully enjoy due to the discrimination I regularly experience simply for being myself, and the accompanying heartbreak, frustration, and exhaustion implicit in doing so.
References
Sara I. McClelland, Jennifer D. Rubin, and José A. Bauermeister, “Adapting to Injustice: Young Bisexual Women’s Interpretations of Microaggressions,” Psychology of Women Quarterly 40, no. 4 (2016): 533-534, https://doi.org/10.1177/0361684316664514;
Sarah Elizabeth Nielsen, Colin R. Harbke, and Julie C. Herbstrith, “Uncovering Bi-as: Developing New Measures of Binegativity.,” Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, (August 2020): 1-2, https://doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000399.
McClelland et al., “Adapting to Injustice,” 533-534; Nielsen et al., “Uncovering Bi-as,” 1-2.
Sasha N. Canan et al., “Differences in Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Women’s Experiences of Sexual Assault and Rape in a National U.S. Sample,” Journal of Interpersonal Violence 36, no. 19-20 (2019): 9101, 9108, 9112, https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260519863725.
