I used to live down the street from a 7/11 corner store. Throughout my late teens and early twenties, I must have made that short two-minute walk from my house to the store a hundred times. No matter the time of day, whenever I wanted to, I would simply walk out the door without a second thought. However, every time I now drive past that corner store and see the big neon 7/11 sign, I remember a conversation that I had with my partner at the time. It drastically impacted the way I had previously thought about gender relations and the different ways I, as a man, experience the world. We had just gotten back home from a late night out with friends, and I was feeling particularly lazy but still wanted a late-night snack. Without thinking about the potential consequences, I urged my girlfriend to run over to the store and grab us some food. At first, she simply said no and suggested that I come with her. I could not understand why she was being so hesitant, and I assumed that she just did not want to. I became annoyed because I had gone to the store several times alone while she stayed home and waited. I remember telling her that she was being selfish. I was extremely ignorant to the fact that she, as a woman, had an almost entirely different lived experience than I had when it came to simply walking down the street. She explained to me that although the walk was short, it made her uncomfortable and nervous because of prior interactions that she had with men whilst walking outside.

I have never had to worry about what I was wearing before going out or worry if I was walking with other men so as to act as a deterrent from other male’s catcalling or physical violence. Sara Ahmed discusses this when talking about sensing wrongs. Ahmed details an encounter she had while out jogging when a male on a bicycle passed by and slapped her on the back of her shorts. The man rode past like nothing had happened and acted as if this was a normal interaction. Ahmed describes being in complete shock. She was angry and upset. She returned to jogging but it was never the same. She now felt completely different in her body, which “was an entirely different way of interpreting the world.” I was ignorant to the negative impacts that these experiences can have on women as they accumulate over time. I began to wonder why this type of male behaviour is so prominent and almost culturally accepted as “normal” or “boys being boys.” Ahmed offers a potential explanation in chapter 6 of Living a Feminist Life. Ahmed states that “when you speak of harassment you can end up being harassed all over again” (Ahmed, 2017). It is often very difficult for women to speak about their experiences of sexual harassment because “harassment is a network that stops information from getting out by making it harder to get through.” The difficulty faced by many women can lead to an increased self-doubt because all around them there is a partial sighting on the walls that acts as justification. Women hear the same excuses over and over and are encouraged to let go of the “affection” they are receiving. By telling women to “let it go “or “let go of him” we are actively engaging in a culture that is built around this affection which enables harassers by forgiving them, “as if their vice is our virtue”.

I chose this picture of 7/11 to describe how I experience gender in my daily life and to serve as a reminder that most of my gender experiences can go unnoticed unless I actively try to better understand them. I was unaware of the drastically different experiences men and woman can have when doing something as simple as walking to the store.