This specific white t-shirt represents a wall that I have been hiding behind for many years. What you do not see is that this t-shirt is triple my normal size; it is also made for men, and this is what I feel most comfortable in. For years I have struggled with wearing women’s clothing, specifically due to the inconsistency of sizes in specific pieces of clothing and the opinion of others in society. It is very hard to find a flattering shirt to wear as a woman who is considered mid-sized, because society has deemed what an ideal body shape should look like. It seems as if everything is getting smaller and tops are getting shorter and more ‘cropped’ as what this style is ultimately known as. I cannot find a comfortable women’s shirt without shopping in the plus-sized section even though my body type and weight do not identify as such. I have always had a stronger build in muscle and have grown up playing a variety of sports. Men’s t-shirts are not as tight as women’s shirts…they are longer and seem to be made with comfier fabrics and materials that do not show off your figure…my figure. This white t-shirt is something I would wear for days on end because it is the only thing where you cannot see my undergarments that show at the top section of a women’s white t-shirt. This t-shirt is not excruciatingly tight on my body. As a woman who has grown with the development of the internet and social media it is hard for me to come to terms with the way I look. It is hard to purchase clothing online; a shirt I purchased because I saw that an Instagram influencer did looks completely different on her than it does on my body… back to that comfortable white t-shirt, I guess. As a woman in this century, I find shopping for clothing that is as simple as a white t-shirt very challenging as I do not fit societies ideal body shape of the cropped top lifestyle. In result, I have been too hard on myself for looking the way I do which has been a strain on my mental health. Orsini’s chapter “Engendering Fatness and ‘Obesity’” states that “narratives that swirl around obesity and fatness are inextricably linked to the affects and emotions they engender and produce” (Orsini, 2020, 362.) For years I have worn this t-shirt to hide myself from the world, not just because of the material difference between men and women’s clothing, but to hide my physical being from the fear of being judged for not looking a certain way. In the past, I have tried to break out of my comfort zone and purchase some cute women’s clothing from popular stores such as ‘American Eagle’ and ‘Artizia’; these purchases were a big hit style wise and an even bigger miss size wise. Purchasing a simple t-shirt from both brands was easier said than done. After making my purchase I compared the two items I bought, both being the same size, color, and was made from a similar fabric. I was not surprised to see that each top fit very differently, in fact, I was betting on it. I swear that a million questions came to my mind; was it me or the fabric? Am I good enough to wear these clothing brands? Nonetheless, I think that over the years I have started developing more confidence in what I choose to wear because I realised, I am not the only one who thinks this way. Feminism has massively expanded in terms of women’s independence and supporting one another. Earlier I discussed how social media is negative in the aspect of comparing yourself to one another, but it can also be a positive tool in lifting your spirits. “Digital technologies have allowed for the establishment of feminist magazines…there are also feminist blogs, vlogs, and podcasts where feminists create and produce their own content” (Small 2020, 192). The existence of these vlogging channels and positive influencers have helped me grow in terms of trying on new things and straying away from my comfortable men’s t-shirt’s. I have realised that at the end of the day, nobody cares what you wear. Does this mean all my insecurities have gone away surrounding women’s clothing? No way! This just means that I am breaking out of my comfort zone. Will I ever get rid of my white t-shirt? In terms of comfort, I never will. But, in terms of trying on new women’s clothing and slowly growing my confidence, this t-shirt will be tucked away in my drawer.